ParentPay

ParentPay is a secure online payment service that allows parents and guardians, to make payments to their child’s account, using their debit or credit cards. Payments can include school meals, trips, tickets, resources, sports or music payments –

Any amount of money can be paid into your account, which is saved within the system, until a purchase has been made. The system allows you to monitor balances online, as well to see what food choices your child has made.

ParentPay- Parents Overview

ParentPay- How to activate your account

ParentPay- How to add child to an account

Student Safety

The safety, behaviour and well-being of students are of maximum importance. This page provides a number of key documents and links to information to help support families in ensuring student safety. If you have any questions or need further information please contact the school.

Safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility – governors, staff, families, students and the wider community. We all have a statutory duty to safeguard and promote the welfare of children.

If you have concerns about the health, safety or well-being of a student, you should share this information with an appropriate member of school staff immediately. Any concern, however small you may feel it is, is important and we would rather you share these concerns, than miss a bigger issue.

Selston High School both encourages and facilitates healthy lifestyles amongst its students by establishing how to achieve a health-conscious, active lifestyle, and identifying threats to health.

Students are also taught how to make well informed, positive choices and exercise high self-esteem through their decision making.

In this section you will find a variety of websites dedicated to ensuring all stakeholders have the necessary information and support on how to establish a healthy lifestyle.

Drugs
Think U Know
https://www.thinkuknow.co.uk/parents/ 

Talk to Frank
https://www.talktofrank.com/

Alcohol
Alcohol Education Trust
https://alcoholeducationtrust.org/parent-area/

Partnership to End Addition
https://drugfree.org/article/how-to-address-alcohol-and-underage-drinking/

Drink Wise
https://drinkwise.org.au/parents/how-to-deal-with-teen-drinking/#
Health

NHS

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-weight/very-overweight-children-advice-for-parents/
Healthy Teens
https://www.ashfield.notts.sch.uk/ckfinder/userfiles/files/Health-for-Teens-P

ADVICE FOR STUDENTS AND PARENTS

Staying safe on the way to and from school and in the community

  • Do not walk alone at night, especially if it is dark.
  • Always inform your parents/friends where you are going and what time you will be home.
  • Do not wear headphones as they can restrict your ability to hear any potential dangers.
  • Try to have a charged mobile phone with you in case of emergencies.
  • Be vigilant and try to spot any potential dangers before they happen.
  • Stay well clear of any suspicious characters and never accept lifts from strangers.
  • Consider purchasing a ‘panic alarm’ which you can keep in your pocket and activate if you ever feel threatened.
  • Tell your parents/carers of any suspicious/threatening incidents you see, or are involved in whilst in the community.

Advice for students on how to stay safe when using the internet and social networking

• Make sure you use the privacy settings.
• Always respect others – be careful what you say online.
• Be careful what pictures or videos you upload. Once a picture is shared online it cannot be taken back.
• Only add people you know and trust to friends/followers lists online. When talking to strangers, keep your personal information safe and location hidden.
• Treat your password like your toothbrush – keep it to yourself and change it regularly.
• Block the bully – learn how to block or report someone who is behaving badly.
• Do not retaliate or reply to offending e-mails, text messages or online conversations.
• Save the evidence. Always keep a copy of offending e-mails, text messages or a
screen grab of online conversations and pass to a parent, a carer or a teacher.
• Make sure you tell an adult you trust, for example, a parent, a carer, a teacher, or the
anti-bullying co-ordinator or call a helpline like Childline on 08001111 in confidence.
• Most social media services and other sites have a button you can click on to report
bullying. Doing this can prevent a bully from targeting you and others in the future. Many
services take bullying seriously and will either warn the individual or eliminate his or her
account.
• While you are on your mobile phone make sure you also pay attention to your
surroundings.

Advice for parents and carers on cyberbullying

Set boundaries

A good way to supervise children’s internet access and set boundaries about what they can and cannot do online is to create an agreement with them. If a child breaks the rules, restrict internet access for an agreed period of time.

Ensure you use the privacy settings, parental controls and built in internet safety features provided by the major internet service providers.

For parents and carers experiencing any internet safety issues with their children, the Parent Zone provides a national helpline service at – help@theparentzone.co.uk and
The Parent Zone – help.

Being involved and talking to children

Social Networks have a minimum age restriction, usually age thirteen. Parents should talk to their children about the reasons behind the age restriction as they are there for a reason.

Ensure children and young people feel comfortable about telling their parents things that have happened online. Talking to their children will help parents to understand the ways in which they are using the internet, social media and their mobile phone. Talking to children about responsible behaviour is important as sometimes children who are victim of cyberbullying may also be involved in cyberbullying others. Ensure they know they can go and talk to an adult or parent if they are being bullied and need support. How parents talk to their children will depend on their age. Childnet gives more detailed information about talking to your child and antibullyingpro provides practical advice for parents.

Possible signs of cyberbullying

It is not always easy to spot the signs of cyberbullying as it can happen all the time, which is a feature that makes it different from other forms of bullying. Be alert to a change in your child’s behaviour, for example:

• Being upset after using the internet or their mobile phone;
• Unwilling to talk or secretive about their online activities and mobile phone use.
• Spending much more or much less time texting, gaming or using social media.
• Many new phone numbers, texts or e-mail addresses show up on their mobile phone,
laptop or tablet.
• After texting or being online they may seem withdrawn, upset or outraged.
• Not wanting to go to school and/or avoiding meeting friends and school mates.
• Avoiding formerly enjoyable social situations.
• Difficulty sleeping.
• Low self-esteem.

Useful Resources

Getting offensive content taken down if online content is upsetting and inappropriate, and the person or people responsible are known, you need to ensure they understand why the material is unacceptable or offensive and request they remove it. If the person responsible has not been identified, or refuses to take down the material you should contact the social networking site directly to make a report and request the content is taken down. The material posted may be in breach of the service provider’s terms and conditions of use and can therefore be removed. Some service providers will not accept complaints lodged by a third party. In cases of mobile phone abuse, where the person being bullied is receiving malicious calls and messages, the account holder will need to contact the provider directly. Before you contact a web service provider, it is important to be clear about where the content is, for example by taking a screen shot of the material that includes the web address. If you are requesting they take down material that is not illegal, be clear to point out how it breaks the site’s terms and conditions. Where the material is suspected of being illegal you should contact the police directly.

Contact details for social networking sites

The UK Safer Internet Centre works with social networking sites to disseminate their safety and reporting tools.

Social networking site Useful links
Ask.fm Read Ask.fm’s ‘terms of service’
Read Ask.fm’s safety tips
Reporting on Ask.fm:
You do not need to be logged into the site
(i.e. a user) to report.
When you move your mouse over any post
on someone else’s profile, you will see an
option to like the post and also a drop down
arrow which allows you to report the post.
BBM Read BBM rules and safety
Facebook Read Facebook’s rules
Report to Facebook
Facebook Safety Centre
Instagram Read Instagram’s rules
Report to Instagram
Instagram Safety Centre
Kik Messenger Read Kik’s rules
Report to Kik
Kik Help Centre
Snapchat Read Snapchat rules
Report to Snapchat
Read Snapchat’s safety tips for parents
Twitter Read Twitter’s rules
Report to Twitter
Vine Read Vine’s rules
Contacting Vine and reporting
YouTube Read YouTube’s rules
Report to You

What is Self-Harm?
Self-harm is a “coping strategy” that enables the individual to deal with feelings and
emotions.
 Cuttings
 Burning
 Overdosing
 Hair pulling (trichotillomania)
 Inserting objects
 Scratching
 Causing bruising to the body

This is by no means an exhaustive list.

The most common ways that people self-harm are cutting their arms or legs, although many people self-harm in other ways. Most admissions to hospital through self-harm are because of overdosing.

What is it not?

Self-harming is not a sign that the young person is mad or bad. It is also not a means of seeking attention. Self-harm is not effective as a long term strategy for managing strong and difficult feelings. Because of the feelings it can trigger in itself, it can actually make things worse in the long-run.

Why Do People Self Harm?

People self-harm to help themselves feel more in control or get an immediate relief from high levels of stress or distress. It is important to remember that selfharm is not attempted suicide but something that people do in order to survive and stay alive.

You may not realise the individual is experiencing these difficulties that can lead to self-harm, it is very often hidden from the rest of the work, individuals can become withdrawn and isolated, and secretive about their feelings and selfharm.

It is not clear why some people self-harm, even without knowing the reasons, however, young people might be clear about what self-harming does for them. Some possible reasons may be: The causes of self-harm are the things that set if off in the first place – not necessarily what makes the individual continue to self-harm.
 Bullying
 Abuse (sexual, emotional or physical)
 Neglect
 School/work pressures
 Family financial difficulties
 Housing problems relationship trouble
 Family problems
 Bereavement
 Loneliness. isolation
 Eating disorders
 Drug/alcohol problems
 Coming to terms with sexuality

For some individuals, an episode of self-harm may be triggered by a significant life event, but for others the day to day fluctuation in their thoughts and feelings is too much to bare, Sometimes individuals go for months without harming themselves and others self-harm daily. Simple stresses such as being late to lesson or not getting their hair right might be enough to create a tension so overwhelming in the individual that they self-harm to cope with this. For some, shelf harm can became a habit; something they routinely do to survive on a day to day basis because they don’t know what else to do. Sometimes even positive feelings can create overwhelming feelings that the individual does not know how to manage.

How you can help?

For all individuals the starting point for recovery is to become aware of their reasons for, and drives to self-harm, recovery is always possible, however lost and overwhelmed the person feels. Seeking help can be difficult, however, because of the feelings of guilt and shame it can create.

It is really important to remember that self-harm is VERY different to suicidal intent,but at times the two may be close. Someone who is suicidal feels as if they can’t take anymore and their only option is to end their life, whereas someone who selfharms feels that they can’t take anymore (of whatever they are feeling) and their only option is to harm themselves in order to stay alive.

If you tell them to STOP when they’re not ready, imagine what they could feel their only option is.

Most importantly the best way to deal with self-harm is to stay calm, try not to be alarmed or show your fears. There are many things that can help, try and encourage the individual to try some of the suggestions below:

 Complete a diary to express how they are feeling, this can also be used to
monitor patterns and identify times when the self-harm has occurred.
 Talk to someone
 The 10 minute rule – when the urge comes to self-harm try postponing for 10
minutes. This may feel more manageable than telling themselves to not to do
it and may help to reduce the intensity of the emotions.
 Exercise
 Scribble on sheets and sheets of paper
 Write (stories, poetry, journal)
 Cuddle a soft toy
 Be with other people
 Watch a comedy
 Post on web boards and answer others’ posts.
 Paint their nails
 Eat something sweet
 Call a friend and ask for company
 Sing/Play an instrument
 Punch a punch bag
 Snap an elastic band or hair band around the wrist
 Let them cry
 Go to bed and sleep
 Have a relaxing bath
 Paly with a pet
 Clean
 Read a book
 Encourage to make their own list of things to do instead.
The list is endless

What can you do?

Supporting someone who self-harms can be very difficult and challenging. Knowing that someone you care about is in emotional distress can create many feelings including fear, anger, frustration, helplessness and sadness. Try to make sure you have a way of dealing with your own feelings as the person you are supporting is going to need all the patience, understanding and support you can give.

 Recognising their signs of distress and finding a way of talking to them
about how they are feeling.
 Listen to their worries and problems and take them seriously.
 Offer sympathy and understanding – reduce the shame and isolation
providing an unconditional relationship.
 Help them to think of alternative ways of coping and solving problems.
 stay calm and in control of your own feelings- try not to be alarmed or
show your fears
 Being clear on the risks of shelf harm, making sure they know about
them and know that, with help, they will be able to stop and sort their
problem in another way.
 Support them in getting additional help (from GP, school and mental
health services).
 Remain mindful that even if the child in your care is learning how to
self-regulate, expecting them to manage their emotions alone, no
matter how old they are, is unrealistic.
 Treat emotional outbursts from your child, even extreme anger, as an
expression of a legitimate emotional expression, even when it appears
fake and/or unnecessary. Try to avoid the temptation to manage it with
reward-punishment strategies.
 When behaviour has to be stopped (because it is dangerous), the
strength of your love for your child must be as strongly (if not more
strongly) communicated as our disapproval of their behaviour.

Medical treatment for self-harm

 Pin point them to a first aid kit and encourage them to look after
themselves by using clean implements to cut with, for example, or not
to cut too deeply to avoid damage to tendons and muscles.
 This might be the first step to recovery but must be mutually agreed
and not imposed. We know this may feel very difficult for you, but this
method of patience and care may be very influential in promoting
health and recovery, and may be enough to help the person feel back
in control, accepted and less isolated.
 Be aware that going to the GP or A & E for treatment of self-harm is
most likely going to be difficult experience for someone who self-harms
as this is a very public arena for a very private act. If this is the case
the individual should expect to be treated sensitively and with the same
level of care and attention as any other patient. (There are set
guidelines produced for NHS staff to advise them how they should treat
people who self-harm). Unfortunately this is not always the case, and it
will help if you are prepared and able to advocate for the person who
has harmed themselves.
 Try and ensure the individual is given a private area to speak to the
health care professional and that they are given a choice of their
treatment – even if their choice is one you disagree with.
 If the person is bleeding heavily, has taken an overdose or ingested a
substance, always take to A & E as this could be life threatening.

Support for Young People

Self-harming will only ever be a temporary solution to the emotions they are
feeling and it can become a negative cycle. That is why it is so important to
get help as soon as they can.
Please encourage them to talk to someone about their feelings. Their doctor,
a school nurse or a trusted adult/teacher can help them find the right person
to speak to.
Text Health for Teens – for helpful and confidential advice, young people
aged between 11-19 can text their Public Health Practitioner (school nurse)
on 07507 329952
KOOTH on-line counselling is a free counselling service which is
accessible to young people aged 11-25 living within Nottinghamshire
www.kooth.com
Papyrus provide confidential help and advice to young people to prevent
suicide www.papyrus.co.uk or 0870 170 4000
Calm Harm APP – This App provides tasks that help support you to resist or
manage the urge to self-harm. You can add your own tasks too and it’s
completely private and password protected www.stem4.org.uk
Young Minds www.youngminds.org.uk 0808 8025544
• Child line 0800 1111
Samaritans 116 123 www.samaritans.org
Harmless is a user led organisation which provides support, information,
training and consultancy around self-harm. Www.harmless.org.uk. Harmless
run The Tomorrow Project which is a confidential suicide prevention
programme www.nspa.org.uk
• www.healthforteens.co.uk has specific guidance on self-harm

Contact details for support
CAMHS Single Point of Access: 0115 854 2299
CAMHS Crisis team: 0115 844 0560
MASH: 0300 500 80 90

Relationships & Sex Education 

In 2020, Sex, Relationships and Health Education became a legal requirement for all schools in England and Wales.

At Selston High School, we not only meet the requirements stipulated in statute, we also encapsulate the specific needs of our young people to ensure they are safe, knowledgeable and feel supported in their decisions.

In this section you will find a variety of websites dedicated to ensuring all stakeholders have the necessary information and guidance pupils need when maturing into young adults, establishing positive relationships, and practicing good sexual health.

Puberty
Childline
https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/you-your-body/puberty/
Brook Org
https://www.brook.org.uk/your-life/puberty/
Talking about Sex
https://www.brook.org.uk/
Victim Support
https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-crime/sexual-harassment/
Female Genital Mutilation (FGM)
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/female-genitalmutilation-fgm/
Forced Marriage
https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/crime-law/forcedmarriage/
Rape Crisis
https://rapecrisis.org.uk/
Womens Aid
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/
Refuge
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/
NIDAS
http://www.nidas.org.uk/
Sexuality and Gender Identity
The proud trust
https://www.theproudtrust.org/resources/parents/
Stonewall
https://www.stonewall.org.uk/help-advice/coming-out-0
FFLAG
https://www.fflag.org.uk/
Mermaids
https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/
Child Sexual Exploitation
Pace UK
https://paceuk.info/for-parents/
Barnardos
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/what-we-do/protecting-children/cse
NSPCC
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/child-sexualexploitation/

Emotional Health & Wellbeing 

The emotional health and well-being of our students is paramount at Selston High School.

We recognise the stresses and pressures our young people experience and seek to provide guidance to pupils, parents and carers respectively, to ensure all parties feel supported.

In this section you will find information to promote positive mental well-being, and guidance to tackle issues that may be detrimental to mental health.

Mental Health support 

CAHMS Mental Health Support Team
https://www.nottinghamshirehealthcare.nhs.uk/camhs-mental-health-support-teams

Young Minds
https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/

Time to Change
https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/

NHS
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/

My Mind Matters
http://www.mymindmatters.org.uk/

Mind Org
https://www.mind.org.uk/

Samaritans
https://www.samaritans.org/

Anxiety UK
https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/

No Panic
https://nopanic.org.uk/

OCD UK
https://www.ocduk.org/

Depression Alliance
https://www.depressionalliance.org/

Self Harm

NHS
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/selfharm/getting-help/

Young Minds
https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/feelings-and-symptoms/self-harm/

Papyrus
https://www.papyrus-uk.org/

General Support
Rethink UK
https://www.rethink.org/aboutus/what-we-do/advice-and-information-service/gethelp-now/

Action for Children
https://www.actionforchildren.org.uk/

Relate
https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-family-life-and-parenting/parentingteenagers

Anna Freud
https://www.annafreud.org/coronavirus-support/

Eating Disorders
https://youngminds.org.uk/

Beat Eating Disorders
https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/support-services/helplines

Notts Help Yourself
https://www.nottshelpyourself.org.uk/kb5/nottinghamshire/directory/service.page?id=

Anti-bullying & E-safety 

At Selston High School bullying is not tolerated in any shape or form and we seek to educate students on the impact of bullying, and support those who experience or witness bullying.

Selston promotes the ‘upstander’ initiative and encourages pupils to take a stand against bullying and always report any incidents they witness.

Targeted support is available for those who seek to report anonymously, and measures are taking to protect those who experience bullying.

In this section you will find a variety of websites dedicated to ensuring all stakeholders have the necessary information and support on issues that are integral to student safety.

National Bullying Helpline

https://www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/

Anti-Bullying Alliance
https://www.anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk/tools-information/advice-parents

Kidscape
https://www.kidscape.org.uk/advice/advice-for-parents-and-carers/

NSPCC
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/bullying-andcyberbullying/

Kids Health
https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/bullies.html

UK Safer Internet Centre
https://www.saferinternet.org.uk/blog/cyberbullying-advice-parents-and-carers

Relate
https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-children-and-young-people/commonproblems-children-young-people/im-getting-bullied-school

Bullying No Way
https://bullyingnoway.gov.au/Childlinehttps://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/ask-sam/bullying-abuse-and-safetyasksam/im-being-bullied/

Stomp Out Bullying
https://www.stompoutbullying.org/how-to-deal-with-bullies

Selston High school are dedicated to keeping students safe through extensive safeguarding measures and a bespoke Personal Development curriculum.

Our commitment to keeping students safe extends to educating pupils on potentially risky situations, providing them with the tools to make well informed, educated choices and letting them know they can always ask for help.

In this section you will find a variety of websites dedicated to ensuring all stakeholders have the
necessary information and support on issues that are integral to student safety.

If you have any questions or need further information please contact the school.

Staying Safe Advice
NSPCC
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/reporting-abuse/dedicated-helplines/protectingchildren-from-radicalisation/
Educate against hate
https://educateagainsthate.com/parents/